Robin DeSanto
From Walkypedia!
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| Robin DeSanto |
| First Appearance: It's Walky!, August 26, 2003 |
| YOB: 1980 |
| Height: 5'8" |
| Weight: 130 lbs |
| Squadron(s): 82, 128 |
| Abductee powers: Super-speed, durability |
A hyperactive, sugar-fueled crackpot, Robin DeSanto has few boundaries and even less patience. She notices the worst things and asks the wrong questions. She first worked for a secret government agency where she got her alien-enhanced body that allows her to move at super-speed. Her powers run on sugar; it has been remarked that she often "smells like Skittles".
After her first job fell through, Robin wanted for a job with a little less responsibility, and so she wandered into a toy store. Hired on the spot by Galasso, the owner of Shortpacked!, she now enjoys wacky hijinx and toy jokes instead of "must-save-the-world" pressure. She crushes daily on her co-worker, Ethan, even though he's gay, and meddles incessantly in the mundane lives of her fellow employees. Her super-speed and combat skills look like they might just one day play a role in her job description, however ...
She is also a member of the Federal House of Representatives. (Long story.)
History
Not much is known about Robin's childhood, other than that her father was less than faithful to her mother.[1] She also states that her father beat her, though she may have been lying. She attended at least one prom, which almost led to her losing her virginity to someone named Miles. [2] At some point near the turn of the millennium, she was recruited by SEMME and assigned to Squad 82.
Robin was re-assigned to Squad 128 by Linda Walkerton when Mike Warner, who was badly beaten in a fight with David Walkerton, was transferred to her previous squad. She quickly proceeded to drive everyone in the squad insane, especially Joe, with whom she was sharing Mike's old room. As time went on, however, Joe began to suspect Robin of being his internet girlfriend, causing some tension between them. Eventually though, this passed and they became friends of a sort, even to the point that Robin seemed to develop feelings for Joe. However, when Joe finally managed to reach Rachel, Robin defended him, and encouraged them to pursue a relationship, despite those feelings.
After leaving SEMME, she took a job at Shortpacked!, where she was shocked to find the very-dead Mike Warner alive and also working there, and developed a crush on Ethan Siegal and is constantly trying to get him to "bang" her. The closest she has come to "banging" him was on the head when he noticed Batman before noticing her in a short plaid dress and matching bikkini top. She has also blackmailed him for snuggles by not telling Faz that he was gay. She has, however, kissed him and been kissed by him-- in each case, the kisser was trying to proved to the kissee that the kissee was not gay. Sadly, Ethan's kiss was successful, and Robin's was not.
Besides Ethan, Robin has proclaimed her desire to bear the children of Greg Killmaster, after becoming enamored with him when seeing his name in the credits of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Journeying to ILM headquarters in California, Robin abandoned the conquest when 'everyone' at ILM identified themselves as Greg Killmaster. Thus was probably because she announced her desire to mate with Killmaster at the top of her lungs. In the end, she decided that, since all she truly wanted was to have is name, that she could change it herself if she really wanted to.
Also after joining the staff at Shortpacked! she moved in with Amber. At one point she turned their kitchen into a pool. They had a lifeguard named Colin that she quickly renamed to Ethan. Determined to help Amber get over her shyness, she forced her to go to Iowa and meet her internet boyfriend.
At one point, she consumed a massive amount of sugar (in the form of Cadbury Egg cereal), a feat which resulted in her election to the office of state representative, under the platform of using her influence to convince Hasbro to make the Funeral Gown Padme figure. She steadfastly avoids any responsibility this position entails. Despite this, she maintains a firm and erect standing in the polls.
She is also the one that pulled the Drama Tag and found the Tome of the Ages.
Eventually, frustrated with Ethan's newfound gayness, she claimed to be a lesbian. In doing so, she enlists the help of Conquest (through the promise of licky-style makeouts) and the rest of the male Shortpacked! staff (through the videotaping of said makeouts) in order to completely convince Ethan of her lesbianity. This worked up to a point, but she was unable to keep herself from kissing Ethan when he confronted her. During the course of this, Robin acquired a lesbian of her very own. Although Ethan drove her away, Robin later sought her out, because she was the only one who had ever appreciated her. They are still friendly, despite Robin's assertions that she is not actually a lesbian. However Robin continues to call her 'my lesbian'.
Robin has appeared to have rebuilt her friendships with Ethan and Amber following the 'Tome of Ages' scheme. Ethan has even used her (and to a lesser extent Leslie) to prove his theory that if he were to buy a hard-to-find toy online, then it would magically appear in the stores simutaneously.
She recently sent a letter to Joe asking for "some kind of equipment" to find that "Drama Tag" she found the year before. But he sent her Ultra Car, whose scans didn't pick it up.
Trivia
- In her spare time, Robin puts fists in her mouth, apparently indiscriminately.
- Joe wouldn't Joe her up if she was the last girl on earth. [3]
- I'm not joshin' you. He wouldn't even Joe her up the butt.
- Even this Joe wouldn't Joe her
- She once ate 1,873 doughnuts [4] [5]
- It was she who convinced Ultra Car to get away from his folks and become self sufficient
- She got Ultra Car his job at SHORTPACKED!
- She was there when Ultra Car tried to do a Spider-man and failed.
- Unlike your mother, Robin is a virgin.[6]
